KOKILA IS HOME – ALMOST
Once again – please forgive me for sounding like a broken record – THANK YOU
We have raised almost $12,000 Can for Kokila’s treatment and hospital stay.
The total expenditures to date have been close to $16,000.
We will be changing the www.CanadaHelps.org fund designation from ” Kokila Emergency Fund” to “Emergency Medical Relief Fund”. Our plan will be to use any money donated to this new fund to cover the shortfall for Kokila’s expenses, and subsequently for any life threatening medical emergencies for One! clients.
I truly do not know what we would have been able to provide for Kokila without the tremendous support from all of our One! friends.
Marilyn
Nov 11, 2011 Tania (mom#2) Kokila, Kanchen (mom#1), and Doctor before leaving the hospital.
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Tuesday, November 1, 2011 to Thursday, November 3, 2011 (Day 31)
No news to report on these days. Kokila’s mood was steadily better and better and the second grafting went well.
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Friday, November 4, 2011 (Day 32)
Another big day as we were to find out how the second set of skin grafting set. I had a quick visit in the morning, in which I witnessed the doctor screaming at an intern who ‘followed him around’ and was ‘trying to look hard-working’ rather than just being hard-working. He reminded me of myself – I have had that exact same fight before.
He stole a few minutes to talk to me about Kokila’s current situation and reaffirmed that he was still planning to discharge her on Monday but was worried about whether she would be ready or not to go home to the slums. It was nice to hear that he understood Kokila’s home life and that it factored into his decisions.
I left before the dressing was done, but he promised to message when it was over and tell me what percent the grafting set.
He forgot to message, but we hoped that no news was good news.
~~~
Saturday, November 5, 2011 (Day 33)
I had a great little visit with Kokila on Saturday. She was in a great mood and was shocked when I told her that she would likely be going home early next week. The smile on her face made everything worthwhile.
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Monday, November 7, 2011 (Day 35)
Kokila`s dressings were changed again on Monday. As it was Id (Muslim holiday), I didn’t`t go to the hospital, so the doctor called. He was happy about how Kokila was doing except for the back of her neck which didn’t`t take 100% and a pressure ulcer which had formed on the back of her head from lying down and moving minimally for the month. He asked if there was a safe and clean place for her to go. I said that I could probably arrange something, but only for a week. He thought that would be enough and so we discussed discharge on Wednesday.
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Wednesday, November 9, 2011 (Day 37)
Juniper (Canadian Nurse) and I went to see Kokila and talk to the doctor about the pending discharge. He was still worried about the pressure ulcer on the back of her skull but said that if he drained it and covered it with a flap then it would be ok for her to go somewhere clean. He misunderstood our conversation on the phone and thought that I didn’t have a clean place for her to stay. He thought that I asked for her to stay in the hospital for one more week. When I told we could arrange a place for a week, he was rather excited. He said he would do what he needed to do on Thursday and then Kokila could be discharged on Friday. We were all very excited.
Once again, Kanchan gave a couple Rupees to a beggar lady on the way home. Life never ceases to amaze.
Vinita asked permission from the school landlord for Kokila to stay – not that permission was needed, but out of respect. He wasn’t in, but his wife seemed to think that it wouldn’t be a problem.
She was wrong. He came storming into the school fifteen minutes before we were to leave and spoke with Vinita. He said “No! There are too many risks involved.” Vinita tried to find out what the ‘risks’ were. He said “No-one could tell, things could happen from any direction.” Vinita then tried to alleviate all risks that she could think of: Kokila would not try to claim the place as her own (his biggest fear), Kokila was not in a condition that she would die, there would not be many people around visiting – we would ensure it. No matter what she said, he was scared of the imaginary ‘risks’ – that he couldn’t put into words. At this point he tried to give her money for a hotel or an apartment for Kokila for the week – a whopping Rs. 1000. Vinita was very confused by this and called me in. It didn’t take long to realize that he wasn’t going to change his mind and that the only card I had to play was sadness (slightly contrived but 90% real). He continued to talk to Vinita and then finally said to me that I shouldn’t be upset. I said that I was not angry, but sad. He was treating it like a business relationship which is not something I could understand. I always treated it like a family relationship and over the last 8 years worked hard at honouring the relationship. As we have helped him over the years, we have only ever asked for a couple favours and that he couldn’t help us in this dire situation made me sad.
He tried to convince me that I shouldn’t be sad and once again offered money. I repeated that I could be disappointed, and that it wouldn’t affect his decision. We would respect his decision and follow it. He said that he would ask around the area and try to get us a place to keep Kokila.
Roadblock.
Through the night, the only answer I could find was the volunteer apartment, but that didn’t seem fair on them.
~~~
Thursday, November 10, 2011 (Day 38)
On the walk to school in the morning, volunteers Juniper and Honey were more than ready to adjust for a week to give Kokila a safe home to stay in. Above and beyond – volunteers are amazing.
We prepared for Kokila’s arrival by emptying out the Step 9 room for her to be able to sit in while she was at the school during the day. We bought her some nightgowns and were generally a flitter with little things as we thought of them. On the way home, we passed the Landlord. Vinita asked him if he managed to find a place to which he answered “It is difficult”. Yeah, no sh*&$! He then offered for Josh and I to live in his house (a spare room he had on the roof) so that Kokila and Kanchan could stay in my house. Yeah, that makes sense, how bizarre. We kindly said no thank you and that we would keep Kokila with us and walked away.
As I was about to tell the rest of the volunteers of the unfortunate news, the landlord called. He said “I guess you can keep your patient at the school.” I kept it short and said thank you and that I would be at the school in the morning to discuss it.
The volunteers were happy but immediately took on the role of giving Kokila support over the weekend. They really are amazing.
A quick message exchanged with the doctor, his procedure of covering the pressure ulcer went well and yes, he would start the discharge procedures in the morning and asked us to arrive at 12.
~~~
Friday, November 11, 2011 (Day 39)
A hectic morning started with a quick exchange with the landlord. He said, “Please let this be the last time.” I agreed and said thank you without any emotion. Who knows what consequence this will have on the relationship and the agreement renewal when that time comes – oh well, not to be dealt with now.
We started by bleaching the Step 9 room and making sure it was rat, ant and dust free. Then we continued on to the TV room and all the rooms in between. As the gang was mobilized in doing this, Juniper, Vikas and I left for the hospital – and of course we met with crazy traffic. Isn’t that always the way! In the end, it didn’t matter as they were still calculating the final bill. I took a deep breath before I looked at it and my fears were confirmed, it was higher than initially estimated. $14,400.
On my way up from paying the bill, the doctor was waiting for me in the lobby of the Burn Unit. He took me in to see the lady that gave up her bed for Kokila. He was proud of Kokila and was telling the older lady that the little girl has recovered and is already going home, “why aren’t you?” The lady was too scared of falling and refused to start walking. Kokila recovered very fast and the doctor praised her hard work and our support. He repeated his awe at the work that we do and the extent of support that we give. Giving financial support is easy, but being with the people day in and day out is really what matters. On his own he said that he wanted to come to the school and to make sure that I kept in touch.
I then went in to get Kokila who was more than ready! She was standing and waiting. The nurse had last minute things to do, so they gave Kokila lunch. When all the papers were signed, Kokila gave the nurses her thank you card for them and was simply going to give the one for the doctor to them. The nurses immediately called the doctor to the unit again. He was clearly touched by her card. We took a picture: Kokila, Kanchan, the doctor and I. We were all feeling very proud and relieved that her recovery was taking the next step.
The ride home in the taxi wasn’t easy for Kokila, it was clear that she felt every bump in the road – of which there are many. She made it home without crying though and was trying to be really strong.
When we walked into the school, Rekha, Santosh and Kokila`s brother Pappy were there. Their first reaction was unfortunately to just stare. Though Kokila is looking great as compared to how she was, it is still shocking to see her for the first time. With a push, they welcomed her and started talking. Soon news got out and Kokila`s brothers and sisters as well as some of her school friends arrived. Everyone had the same reaction and it was hard for Kokila. Luckily, brother Hritick (5) immediately jumped up and down and smiling and laughing and saying “Koki! Koki!”. He didn’t seem to see her frailty or her wounds, or her scars – he only saw his big sister and was overjoyed to have her home.
Stragglers kept trying to come in at which point we sent everyone away. Kokila was clearly overwhelmed and the trauma of the day – both physically and emotionally had taken its toll. By the time we got rid of the crowd, Kokila was sobbing uncontrollably and writhing in pain. She tried to sleep on her own but only settled when she laid on Juniper’s lap. She slept for 45 minutes. When she awoke, she was no longer crying and enjoyed a peaceful afternoon in front of the TV. She wasn’t smiling, but she seemed to settle as time went on. Parvati didn’t leave Kokila’s side. She was glad to have her big sister back but didn’t like it that her big sister was in pain. She winced every time Kokila made a sound. Parvati has been so used to people taking care of her over the years, it was nice to see her take care of Kokila – petting her arm and doing whatever else she could.
Juniper’s main concern was to figure out a toilet for Kokila. Her legs weren’t strong enough to squat. She managed a makeshift one with a bucket and some boxes – all was well.
39 days – and I felt every hour of it. What a relief to have her close to home and safe. Everyone should pat themselves on the back for doing their part in saving Kokila’s life.
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