Giving – Receiving

Donna Hamar and girls, 2017

2 little simple words – however they can be so powerful, emotion-laden, beneficial, rewarding. They are ANTONYMS and they neatly describe my experience volunteering at Khar  and Nallasapora Schools in Mumbai, India.

In January and February of 2017 I embarked on a long-contemplated venture  – to travel to Mumbai and work in the schools established by my social work colleagues’s daughter, Tania Spilchen.

Tania’s story: She was a business science major at the University of Alberta and took advantage of a program to do a practicum with any company in the world that would accommodate students. A long aspired destination, she chose  Mumbai.  ***    This 6 month assignment exposed her to the realities of a massive, third world city, with its crowdedness, pollution, extremes of poverty and wealth, and its foreign languages, religions, customs, social order (the Untouchable class is abolished but the mindset is still present). She may have been in business but her heart went out to the children from the streets and slums. She finished her degree at U of A and promptly returned to India. Mumbai has many slums *** – not just a large one or 2 you might see in movies such as Mad Dog Millionaire. All along the railroads, every empty lot, the large and small garbage dumps  –  all spring forth rebar and wood frame huts, covered with discarded canvas and sheets of aluminum, mostly one-room but amazingly connected to electricity by the crudest of wiring. Some have windows, larger and older units (existing 25+ years) have several rooms, even 2 or 3 stories.  And all squatters/slum dwellers live under the threat that one day the only home they have had may be levelled for development in this over-populated, high value real estate city.

Regarding education –  School is universal, but uniforms, school fees, books, transportation is the responsibility of families. Families of the slums can barely pay the rent* of their huts, electricity, and food   – thus school is not a right – it is a luxury.

*Unbelievable as it seems, most of the slum-dwellers have to pay rent for the tiny area their hut sits on. It seems that someone owns that land, even the garbage dumps.

Tania started out teaching children in the streets, where some of the children lived and worked (selling books, trinkets, food, etc). With fund-raising events in Edmonton, which I attended annually, she eventually obtained one room as a school. She now has several sponsors and donors, plus the Edmonton One! International annual dinner and auction, and thus is able to rent 6 classrooms and office for her expanding school program.   ***

An American organization sponsored the building of the Nallasapora School north of Mumbai. This school has about 10 rooms and provides instruction to about 300 children, ½ attending AM’s and the rest in the PM. I spent only 2 days of my 2 months at the Nallapsapora school however the teachers came to Khar about twice a month.

Why/How I made the leap:  I have never been a ship that stays in harbour  –  rarely straying from its safety. But I just about missed this opportunity of a lifetime. For years I kept saying “one day, maybe one day, I will go to Tania’s school and volunteer”. I have been retired 17 years – and I just about left it too long. I so very much wanted to go but at 73 I was doubting my stamina,  my tolerance for the heat, and having been away from work so long I even lacked the confidence I could be of value. In my retirement I wished to do something more meaningful than bridge, golf, travel for my own pleasure, and to share some of my good fortune. However, a school in India is quite foreign territory  –  teaching (I am a social worker), living in an unknown environment, coping with crowded broken streets, dealing with a different language and culture. I had traveled to India as a tourist in 2015 but the hotels were first class, the unimaginable traffic was maneuvered by bus drivers, the food/restaurants were  geared for tourists and all the historic sites were spacious and well-manicured. However, I was determined to do more than smell the roses ………… and venture out and seek some exotic ones. And what treasured roses I found.

The children and staff of Khar School were so welcoming, curious, motivated (mostly), and taught me more than I could ever teach them. I taught just a few small classes and was re-assigned to develop some personal and family history forms for the childrens’ individual files  –  most of which contained only medical information and school reports.  The files were numbered, sometimes incorrectly and usually titled with just first names, maybe a birthdate, and perhaps a picture that was 4 or 5 years old. This was an area I knew intimately and I enthusiastically tackled this task. I also taught the file keeper (also the medical employee) how to file so that we could find each one without  going thru the entire drawer. Cross-referencing sibs and parents was also organized. ****

A little about the work conditions: While I worked on my assigned task, I competed for a corner, a stool, a makeshift desk (or more often my knee) in the office –  where not only did the director sit but the office also housed the water tank, the library, the computer, the student files, the copier, the staff’s workbooks, staff purses and backpacks, and in the morning the cooks also sat on the floor and cleaned rice for  lunch.** It was not unusual to have 8 students and staff at any one time in this small bedroom size room. But such crowded quarters facilitated constant close, visual, auditory, tactile contact – and I living alone with loads of space,   was unused to this but I did adjust and actually, most of the time, enjoyed the closeness. Frequently chai cups, lunches, water bottles were knocked over causing messes that needed the cleaning woman’s immediate attention. Chatter was constant and the atmosphere changed from disturbing to vibrant and infectious.

I still am not sure what contribution I made to their lives, but they certainly impacted mine. I so admired the staff who were so patient and encouraging. The youth **were faithful attendees, some from the outskirts of Mumbai and having to cope with the crazy trains ** twice a day. And most of all, those who have so little material goods and opportunity, shared such caring, camaraderie, and joy. The younger children, age 5 to 13,*** came quite regularly, on their own or accompanied by older sibs or staff. Oftentimes they came barefooted, tangled hair, poorly clothed,  –  but they came outfitted with the broadest most beautiful smiles and spontaneous laughter. Hope and anticipation, and hearty food carried them – even tho they came from the most dismal of living conditions, and many from abusive and/or alcohol/drug use by parents. I think for some the school was a refuge –  it was safe, their hunger needs met, ready social contact and  …….. there was stimulation. Even on Saturdays rotating staff and volunteers took whoever showed up for a day at a park. This entailed a rickshaw ride as there was just one poorly maintained playground of walkable distance. Like the locals, we squeezed 2 adults and about 6 kids in a rickshaw built for 3.**
The teaching staff varied from a retired teacher to a few minimally qualified teachers, to former students who taught Hindi and maybe basic math. **I loved my contact with them – they shared their life stories with me, they had many questions of me, they helped me shop, they played their music, and every day after work they lingered and then walked the several blocks to the main road where we caught rickshaws, buses or walked home. It was like they just could not get enough of each other each day. And for some, they had little to go home to. So, no one was real anxious to rush home after work. When asked to do extra –  like packing clothing/treat bags for every child, Saturday excursions, planning and attending the Saturday annual Gala, every last one showed such eagerness and pleasure in pitching in. I wish over the years I could have/would have tackled tasks with equal readiness and enthusiasm. They are so willing to give. Their attitude affects the outcomes; their smiles inspire smiles; their reaching out brings others in. An example Tania modelled for sure.

Then there are my most treasured little ones  –  the babies who came with their mothers who were cooks, cleaners, child minders; the toddlers who came with mothers or older sibs; and those who were dropped off by a parent. They ranged from 6 months to 4 years.****  At first only those tikes with  mothers present were content, tho they were bored. There was a lot of whining, weeping, aimless wandering or just sitting and watching. Lunch and naptime were the only scheduled activities for these little ones –  and they had few toys to amuse them. Apparently toys can have legs and it is a constant struggle to keep the toy box supplied. The child minders were either attentive to their own child or were visiting/gossiping with each other, or bickering. One poor woman was very much the scapegoat but she needed the job. To keep some order these children were constantly being yelled at, and occasionally a minder was caught hitting or roughly handling a cranky child. Hitting was not allowed but Honey, Tania and I had to constantly demonstrate that a gentle voice, holding a child on your knee, and playing with them went further than a harsh word or slap. I also would sing to a child (Twinkle Twinkle, You are My Sunshine, She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain When She Comes), or play Ring around the Rosie, Do the Hokey Pokey or Inky Dinky Spider. While still working on files I was given the added task to develop a program and a young mother, Malika, **who brought her 2 year old, was assigned to work with me and then take over the pre-school program when I left. Well, this turned out to be the most rewarding activity of all. The little ones came alive, responded beautifully and I had such fun, saw such heartwarming laughter, and finally felt I was doing something truly meaningful on a very personal level. I bought some toys, gathered some age appropriate Hindi story books and picture books, puzzles, crayons and paper, and developed a book with games and nursery rhymes to play and sing with the children. Lunch and naptime remained part of the program. ***Also, one computer was briefly available for the little ones so they could watch “Baby Einstein” for the first ½ hour after morning snack. Not only were they spellbound but so were the adult child minders!!** They were learning too! I created a book for Malika with a daily schedule of activities, a chapter on developmental milestones, a list of suggested age-appropriate activities. I used coloured dividers and stickers to brighten up Malika’s book and identified a space that was her resource cubicle –  and even had a lock put on it. I did much of this evenings at the apartment as I was so enthusiastic and the immediate results so rewarding. I missed these children and the activities shared well after returning home. I was also heartened to see how the child minders responded and were enjoying their job so much moreso.

Photographer: Another rewarding activity that I initiated myself was to take individual pictures of each and every child at Khar School  –  one for their file and one for them to take home. I also took photographs of the teachers. They all loved to pose and as I love to take pictures, I was the beneficiary of their joy and delight. Who would have thought it would be such a hit.*** I got very friendly with Sid, the Elvis Impersonator who ran the photo shop. I made many trips to his studio –  and unfortunately he was not booked to perform his “Elvis” show until months later.

Money Headaches:  Early January, 2017 was a very difficult and frustrating economic time in India. The government cancelled all 500 and 1000 rupee notes, well before people could turn them in, and then very slowly re-introduced the 1000 rupee note. People were caught with worthless rupees, including Tania, plus she had difficulty transferring Canadian funds to India to be converted to the new money. Thus her teachers, cooks, cleaners, social workers, landlord  could not be paid for weeks. Also by the wayside was an annual special outing –  such as the zoo or the aquarium. As I felt so privileged and rewarded by this whole experience at Khar School, and not wanting the children to have missed out because of this poorly executed monetary change, I sponsored the cost of a field trip to the National Museum in downtown Mumbai. This entailed hiring a bus, paying admissions for the teachers and children, and then lunch after. Well, don’t children reveal the unexpected. The Museum was OK  –  the best part was trying on the Maharaja hats that were available. *** The lunch was the next big hit. * But the REAL highlight was the bus trip there and back  –  Ashok put on  Bollyhood type popular music and the kids belted out their favourites at the top of their lungs.  The atmosphere in the bus was electric and pure joy. (almost 2 hours each way – apparently a first venture downtown for some of the children ). I sometimes get choked up just thinking of those precious hours in the bus.

So, am I glad I finally crossed that bridge? Took on that new challenge, persisted and overcame the pollution causing running eyes and the sore throat, mastered the hazardous streets, jostled with the 21 + Million residents, and survived the crushing train rides (9 to 11 people die per day jumping on/off Mumbai trains or crossing tracks). Absolutely YES! I am not sure I could do it again but I so want to return to just see everyone. They gave me much happiness and taught me how to live without comfort, serenity, familiarity, security. Good, sometimes risky decisions, come back to bless you over and over.

Thank you for allowing me to share my time with those endearing people during those treasured months. For those of you who support Child Haven and One! International, be assured you contribution is most valuable and appreciated. Of that I can sincerely attest. What you give goes a very long way in India. I hope I have communicated what this has meant to the children and how your giving can give back to you.